In a post-apocalyptic world, a young girl tries to get her father to safety.

Original Artwork by Author

As Kori dragged her father up an exit ramp and into the city, she noticed the silence. It wasn’t the same ominous silence that had followed them on the journey here. Rather, it was a peaceful silence, occasionally punctuated by the call of a bird or the chirp of a cricket. They had made it.

A sigh escaped her lips as she sat down on the curb and stared in wonder at the skyline. It was a broken, dark skyline, the product of a brutal attack. But the Visitors weren’t here anymore. They had left after they ripped out what…

The 1992 film starring Brad Pitt and Kim Basinger is a disaster, but the idea has potential to be great…if you fix the gender politics.

Photo Courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Have you seen the (almost) cult classic Cool World? If you haven’t, I wouldn’t blame you. It’s mostly known for being that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? rip-off starring Brad Pitt and a misogynistic attitude that hasn’t aged particularly well — if it was ever in vogue to begin with. No, Cool World is a bad film, having an abysmal 4% green splat on Rotten Tomatoes. And yet, while I watched this movie, I couldn’t help but think about its untapped potential.

If you haven’t seen it, I’ll try to explain away the mess that is Cool World. Brad Pitt is…

Kristi Noem has created a problem at the South Dakota border.

Credit: AP Photo/John Raoux

Kristi Noem is a terrible governor. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s a Republican.

I’m saying that because in the past year, she’s attempted to overturn the will of the people on marijuana laws, downplayed a pandemic that killed over 2,000 South Dakotans, and spends more time furthering her career elsewhere than she does in her own state. She’s making national news, and is becoming a Fox News darling. The right wing media loves her. She stands for family, conservative values, and freedom. Lots of freedom.*

*freedom to legalize and smoke marijuana not included

Most recently, Noem…

Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

I had a blast at Grandpa’s, but I might have been the only one…

When my grandfather passed away, I was obviously devastated. He meant a lot to me. He was an artist and a poet, and he instilled a love of art in me from a very young age. We would sit and discuss Tarantino and Scorcese films, listen to his extensive music collection, and sometimes we’d even fart and laugh. My grandpa had a great sense of humor, which he efficiently passed on to me.

He also taught me some of my favorite words, like “dick,” and “balls,” and “fuck.” Those lessons were received poorly by my parents, but they weren’t anything…

Photo by Madalyn Cox on Unsplash

Oh, sorry, I don’t have any K-cups, Karen! I just bought a French press this weekend. No more K-cups for this guy!

Wait, do you not have a French press? It’s actually really cool once you look into it. A French press actually gives you more control over the taste and temperature of your coffee. It also sounds fancy as fuck, so you can impress people who don’t know what a French press is.

I mean, K-cups are just so bad for the environment, not like this zero waste French press. I freshly grind my Guatemalan fair trade coffee beans every morning for a rich, delicious flavor. It’s also really satisfying to push the filter down.

Do the grounds come through sometimes…

Courtesy of Sony Pictures

I feel as though I have to tell you…those mini-pufts are very on brand for the ‘Ghostbusters’ franchise.

Seriously, Film Twitter? This is what we’re going to gripe about today? Hot off of the “can horror films be set in space?” discourse, we’re going to fight about Mr. Stay Puft?!?!

I mean, I get it. You grumpy movie fans need something to bitch about, and today, a harmless clip of Paul Rudd encountering mini marshmallow men surfaced. Grab the torches and pitchforks.

Damn, the mini-pufts beat you to the punch.

Courtesy of Warner Bros.

The fourth entry in the MonsterVerse is the “fast food” blockbuster we need right now.

Wow, was it fun seeing a big, dumb blockbuster in a packed theater! And by packed, I mean at fifty percent capacity, because…well…you know the situation by now. The experience was something both myself and the rest of the movie-going population have been yearning for since March of last year, and I can’t think of a better movie to bring us back together than Godzilla vs. Kong.

The fourth film in Legendary’s “MonsterVerse,” Godzilla vs. Kong pits two of the most famous movie monsters against each other in an epic battle of fisticuffs. And it delivers exactly what fans want…

‘Sticky’ Single Art — Courtesy of 8123

One of the Arizona rock group’s greatest strengths is using singles to transition into new eras.

This past Thursday, the Maine released their new single “Sticky,” a track from their upcoming LP XOXO: From Love and Anxiety in Real Time. The single, a quick, upbeat slice of pop rock, is pretty much what you would expect from the Arizona rockers. It’s catchy and danceable, a happy little number that would feel right at home on the band’s last effort, 2019’s You Are OK. But that’s typically what The Maine do on the first single of any era: they give you something comfortable to slip into.

This started back with the release of “Some Days” off of…

Still from ‘WandaVision’ — Courtesy of Disney

I can’t completely denounce the media conglomerate, because it owns my childhood.

Oh, Disney, do you even realize how much I want to hate you? You’ve come as close to having a monopoly on the entertainment industry as anyone ever has. You require theaters, both chains and locals alike, to jump through hoops in order to screen your films. At every turn, you’ve grabbed your large fanbase by the ankles and shaken every last penny you could from their pockets. And yet, I’m still happily giving you money.

Why? Well, that’s pretty simple. In your relentless quest for global franchise domination, you’ve acquired almost everything I hold near and dear to my…

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

It’s just mean spirited.

“Oooh, I have a funny vegan story.”

No, dear non-vegan. No, you do not.

This phrase is more likely to elicit an eye-roll than laughter from the vegan you’re about to offend. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard this phrase and laughed at the story that followed — and I’ve heard this phrase quite a bit in my four vegan years.

There are only two types of “funny vegan stories” that come from non-vegans.

One: the “hilarious” set a half-eaten animal product (such as a fast food burger) next to them in bed while they’re sleeping gag. This prank is…

Sam Lenz

A film critic with a taste for genre fare, living in Sioux Falls, SD. If you love movies, we’ll get along just fine.

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