Friday, December 17th, 1993–4AM
The last hit had been too much. He had gone too far. The room had stopped spinning, and was now just fading in and out from existence. A lump caught in his throat, and he began to cough into a clammy, clenched fist. When he pulled his hand away from his face, it was stained a deep red.
Panic began to set in, and he reached for his phone on the small stand next to him and immediately realized that he wasn’t on the couch, but on the floor. He wasn’t quite sure how long he…
As the barn door creaked open, the Old Gods beneath it stirred.
“Shh! Harold, you’re going to get us caught!”
“Would you calm down, you dumb sumbitch?”
Harold peered into the old barn and nothing peered back. He motioned for Dale to follow him in. His companion reluctantly obliged, wiping the sweat from his brow. When both men were in, Harold closed the door as quietly as he could.
The full moon outside cast a hazy light in through the windows, and Dale’s eyes adjusted quickly. The first thing he noticed was that Harold was bleeding. The second was the…
As Kori dragged her father up an exit ramp and into the city, she noticed the silence. It wasn’t the same ominous silence that had followed them on the journey here. Rather, it was a peaceful silence, occasionally punctuated by the call of a bird or the chirp of a cricket. They had made it.
A sigh escaped her lips as she sat down on the curb and stared in wonder at the skyline. It was a broken, dark skyline, the product of a brutal attack. But the Visitors weren’t here anymore. They had left after they ripped out what…
Have you seen the (almost) cult classic Cool World? If you haven’t, I wouldn’t blame you. It’s mostly known for being that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? rip-off starring Brad Pitt and a misogynistic attitude that hasn’t aged particularly well — if it was ever in vogue to begin with. No, Cool World is a bad film, having an abysmal 4% green splat on Rotten Tomatoes. And yet, while I watched this movie, I couldn’t help but think about its untapped potential.
If you haven’t seen it, I’ll try to explain away the mess that is Cool World. Brad Pitt is…
Kristi Noem is a terrible governor. And I promise I’m not saying that because she’s a Republican.
I’m saying that because in the past year, she’s attempted to overturn the will of the people on marijuana laws, downplayed a pandemic that killed over 2,000 South Dakotans, and spends more time furthering her career elsewhere than she does in her own state. She’s making national news, and is becoming a Fox News darling. The right wing media loves her. She stands for family, conservative values, and freedom. Lots of freedom.*
*freedom to legalize and smoke marijuana not included
When my grandfather passed away, I was obviously devastated. He meant a lot to me. He was an artist and a poet, and he instilled a love of art in me from a very young age. We would sit and discuss Tarantino and Scorcese films, listen to his extensive music collection, and sometimes we’d even fart and laugh. My grandpa had a great sense of humor, which he efficiently passed on to me.
He also taught me some of my favorite words, like “dick,” and “balls,” and “fuck.” Those lessons were received poorly by my parents, but they weren’t anything…
Wait, do you not have a French press? It’s actually really cool once you look into it. A French press actually gives you more control over the taste and temperature of your coffee. It also sounds fancy as fuck, so you can impress people who don’t know what a French press is.
I mean, K-cups are just so bad for the environment, not like this zero waste French press. I freshly grind my Guatemalan fair trade coffee beans every morning for a rich, delicious flavor. It’s also really satisfying to push the filter down.
Do the grounds come through sometimes…
Seriously, Film Twitter? This is what we’re going to gripe about today? Hot off of the “can horror films be set in space?” discourse, we’re going to fight about Mr. Stay Puft?!?!
I mean, I get it. You grumpy movie fans need something to bitch about, and today, a harmless clip of Paul Rudd encountering mini marshmallow men surfaced. Grab the torches and pitchforks.
Damn, the mini-pufts beat you to the punch.
Wow, was it fun seeing a big, dumb blockbuster in a packed theater! And by packed, I mean at fifty percent capacity, because…well…you know the situation by now. The experience was something both myself and the rest of the movie-going population have been yearning for since March of last year, and I can’t think of a better movie to bring us back together than Godzilla vs. Kong.
The fourth film in Legendary’s “MonsterVerse,” Godzilla vs. Kong pits two of the most famous movie monsters against each other in an epic battle of fisticuffs. And it delivers exactly what fans want…
This past Thursday, the Maine released their new single “Sticky,” a track from their upcoming LP XOXO: From Love and Anxiety in Real Time. The single, a quick, upbeat slice of pop rock, is pretty much what you would expect from the Arizona rockers. It’s catchy and danceable, a happy little number that would feel right at home on the band’s last effort, 2019’s You Are OK. But that’s typically what The Maine do on the first single of any era: they give you something comfortable to slip into.
This started back with the release of “Some Days” off of…