Your “Funny Vegan Story” Isn’t Funny
“Oooh, I have a funny vegan story.”
No, dear non-vegan. No, you do not.
This phrase is more likely to elicit an eye-roll than laughter from the vegan you’re about to offend. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard this phrase and laughed at the story that followed — and I’ve heard this phrase quite a bit in my four vegan years.
There are only two types of “funny vegan stories” that come from non-vegans.
One: the “hilarious” set a half-eaten animal product (such as a fast food burger) next to them in bed while they’re sleeping gag. This prank is generally pulled after a night of drinking, making the vegan believe they may have eaten it after a few too many. Worse yet, sometimes this story involves actually tricking vegans into eating something non-vegan.
Two: the “hysterical” take them to a restaurant that doesn’t have any options for them — usually fast food — and order them something like a piece of lettuce, or a slice of tomato. Yes, I’ve heard multiple stories about this exact thing.
Are there more types of “funny vegan stories?” Maybe, but these are the only two I’ve heard. The problem with these stories is simple: they’re not funny.
